Gravity, p.7
Gravity, page 7
“Not going to happen,” Jax spat out, before nodding at Mark and walking off. Screw Ben and his new girlfriend, Jax wasn’t just going to stand around having a chitchat with the person who was responsible for his mother no longer feeling confident enough to drive. Urgh! This was one of the main reasons he avoided relationships, you just can’t trust people, you think you know them and then wham! They change. Jax spent the rest of the day drinking and playing the guitar with his mates, ignoring Tara and her every attempt to talk to him. With the exception of Tara, the day had been as good as he remembered them being in the past, and it was with reluctance that he made his excuses to leave, wanting to check on Cassidy and make sure that she was feeling better.
“Jax, you can do that thing, with the keysh,” Mark slurred.
“Drive?” Tara supplied.
“Yesh, drive, you can do it, you too drunk,” Mark hiccupped, sending the group of friends into fits of laughter.
“So, are you,” huffed Tara, “in fact, it would appear that I am the only sober one here tonight. Great, I guess you all expect me to be your designated driver?” With an exaggerated huff, Tara went and fetched her bag, returning and jiggling her keys in the air as if they were all dogs.
“Come on then, whoever wants a lift home better get in the car.” Jax would have preferred to walk home, but right now he was having trouble remembering where exactly his parent's house was, and although he knew he had his phone with him somewhere, it had appeared to have gone missing.
With a resigned sigh, he followed her on wobbly feet to her car, all but falling into the front passenger seat, three more partygoers stumbling onto the back seat. The passing scenery made his head spin, so Jax closed his eyes briefly, only opening them once Tara had pulled the car over.
“Ah, here I live,” he slurred, frowning at the car door. After watching him try unsuccessfully to open his door, Tara got out of the car and walked around to his side, muttering under her breath about drunks and what she thought of them, yanking the door open and helping him to stand.
“Do you think you could possibly make it to the front door without help?” She asked him sarcastically, and as much as Jax wanted to laugh at her, to remind her that only a few hours ago she was all over him, he resisted, realising that, actually, he most likely would need her help.
“You know, Jax, this is not how I imagined my evening would turn out,” she pulled his arm across her shoulders and started to half lead, half drag him up the path to the front door, much to the amusement of the rest of the passengers in the back of the car.
“Oops!” Jax tripped on the edge of the path, his foot catching on the edge of his mother’s flower bed, his world tilting dangerously sideways. He grabbed at Tara for support, pulling them both down, as he landed in the violets with a loud thud, Tara sprawled out on top of him.
“Well,” she pushed herself up off Jax’s chest, still straddling his waist, a wicked gleam in her eyes, “this is much better,” she purred, fanning her hands out over his chest.
“What the heck?!” Without warning Jax found himself trapped in a floodlight and he squinted, trying to make out the hazy shadows looking down on him. He watched, fascinated, as the shadows moved around him, familiar, comforting.
One of them stood back and kept their distance. As his eyes grew accustomed to the light, he saw what had made that shadow, his stomach sinking at the sight. Cassidy.
CHAPTER TWELVE - CASSIDY
By late that afternoon Cassidy had finally started to feel a little bit better, she had even managed to keep down a little dinner, much to Judy’s delight. She had hoped Jax wouldn’t be out long, and by the conversation that she had overheard between Judy and Tony, so had they.
“I just think it is disrespectful, seriously!”
“I know love, but you heard what he said, Cassidy encouraged him to go, it’s been ages since he caught up with everyone.”
“I not saying that he shouldn't have gone, Tony, but to be gone all day? It’s after eight o’clock, and he’s left Cassidy here all day, essentially with strangers, when she’s not well. I mean, come on, look at her, anyone can tell that she is still ill. It’s just plain rude, Tony, honestly, I just do not understand him at times.” Moving away from their conversation quietly, so as not to be caught listening in, Cassidy returned to the bedroom and crawled back into bed. If she was being honest, she had also thought that Jax would have been back by now, still, she had told him to go, she just hoped that he was having fun.
Cassidy sat bolt upright, disorientated, not sure what had woken her. Ears straining, she heard a car door slam, followed shortly after by an ominous thud and the sound of someone cursing. Leaving her bed, Cassidy crossed to the door and peered out, both Judy and Tony were already ahead of her, walking towards the front door, and she slipped in behind them, too curious to stay put. Tony turned on the outside porch light and opened the door, Judy gasping, her hand flying to her mouth. Cassidy’s eyes grew round, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. There, lying in a bed of flowers, was Jax, grinning up at them, not the least bit ashamed of being caught. Straddling his hips, her hands fanned out over his chest, was one of the most beautiful women Cassidy had ever seen. Model thin, with tresses of lush blonde hair cascading down her back in waves, perfectly pouty lips curved into a smirk, she looked like she could grace the cover of any magazine. With her dress hiked up to her hips, it was clear that they had just interrupted something between the two of them. So, this was why Jax had been home so late, because of her. Cassidy felt ill, a feeling that had nothing to do with the baby.
“What the heck?!” Judy screeched. “Jax, get off my violets, now!” She commanded. “As for you,” she snarled at the other woman, “get off my property before I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing.” Tony moved to help the other woman clamber off Jax, once she was up, she straightened her dress, blew Jax a kiss, and sauntered off down the path to the curb, before getting in her car and driving off. With a resigned sigh, Tony turned to help Jax up out of the violets, Cassidy’s eyes couldn’t help but trail down his body, traitors that they were, her mouth hanging open at the sight of Jax’s obvious bulge in his pants. Humiliation burned her cheeks. Jax had wanted that other woman, while Cassidy had been right here, sleeping, he had wanted that other woman, more than that, he was going to have her, had they not been interrupted. As Tony led Jax past Judy and Cassidy, Jax suddenly lurched towards Cassidy, grabbing her by the upper arms and winking.
“Shweetheart, help us out, would ya?” He grinned at her, gesturing towards his erection. In the shouting that erupted, Cassidy fled, running down the hall and into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her, locking it with a loud clunk.
She could hear Judy and Tony yelling at Jax from here but couldn’t muster any sympathy for him. He had brought this upon himself. How could he do that, to her? It was bad enough that she had noticed his erection, that he was aroused by that other woman, but to go and point it out to his parents? Cassidy had intended to simply ignore it, not wanting to further embarrass herself or Jax, but now...She felt like a common whore. Her cheeks flamed with mortification, what must his parents think of her? What about Jax? He must have a pretty low opinion of her, to ask her such a thing in front of other people, it was beyond disrespectful. Cassidy felt ill, a coldness was spreading throughout her body, and her stomach was full of dread. She should never have agreed to come here with Jax, maybe then she would still be able to pretend that everything was okay, that everything would be fine, that everything would work out. Is this how Jax wanted things to be? Is this what he meant when he said they would co-parent as roommates? Did he expect her to be okay with him bringing home any number of different women, did he think she would do the same with men she met?
Dismayed, Cassidy knew that she should have asked him, she shouldn’t have just accepted his idea at face value, she shouldn’t have been so keen to keep Jax in her life. She knew now what she had always known, what she had never wanted to admit, not even to herself. She loved Jax and had for a long time, but she knew that he didn’t feel the same way about her. In fact, Cassidy knew that not only did Jax not love her, but she was pretty sure that he also wasn’t that interested in getting to know her, in forming any sort of relationship with her. Why had he offered to co-parent with her? Did he want a baby that much? Maybe he didn’t want the responsibility, the hassle of caring for a baby? Was that what she would be, primary caregiver, while he got to do all the fun things, essentially a nanny? Every time she closed her eyes, Cassidy saw that woman straddling Jax, and she knew that despite what she had agreed to while they were in Alice Springs, there was no way that she would be able to co-parent with Jax. She could not live in the same house as him, raising his baby, watching while he continued to live without her, bringing women home, having fun, living his best life while excluding her, while keeping her close enough to torment. The thought of enduring that had Cassidy in tears, and she swiped them away angrily.
She could rant and rave and blame Jax all she liked, but the truth was, this was all her own fault, no one else was to blame. She had gotten her hopes up too high, yet again, she had let her dreams and imagination sweep her away, she had built Jax up, had built their relationship up, into something it wasn’t, into something it wasn’t meant to be. She was so stupid, so foolish, to trust him, to think that maybe, just maybe, things would be different, things would go her way this time. She should have known better, she should never have listened to her heart, after all, her head was always right, her head protected her, her head knew that people like Jax never ended up with people like her, no matter what the circumstances. Well, she had certainly learnt her lesson, that was for sure, and now she would pay the ultimate price, she would spend the rest of her life raising a child, she only hoped that she didn’t stuff it up, that she could raise them better than she had been raised. It was with a heavy heart that Cassidy climbed back into bed, tossing and turning until she finally fell into a fitful sleep.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN - JAX
When Jax woke the following day, his head was pounding, and he felt as if he had swallowed cotton balls. He could hear the buzz of conversation floating around, and, with a mammoth effort, managed to crack one eye open. Huh. He was sprawled, fully clothed, across the couch in the lounge room. Wait, why was he on the couch in the lounge room, where was Cassidy? He hauled himself into a sitting position and looked around. He felt like trash. With a sigh, he heaved himself off the couch and went in search of Cassidy, surprised to find the bedroom door locked.
“Cassidy,” he knocked, “Cassidy?”
“Jax,” his stepdad appeared in the hallway, “come to the kitchen, your mum has breakfast ready, Cassidy will be down soon, I’m sure.” Tony all but propelled Jax into the kitchen, his mother glaring at him when he arrived. Jax was getting the distinct impression that he had somehow offended them. As he was about to open his mouth and ask about it, Cassidy entered the room, dark circles under her eyes, her lips pressing into a thin line when she caught sight of him already seated at the table. His mother rushed to the table, shooing Cassidy into the seat opposite him, and placing a large plate of pancakes on the table, followed by another of bacon and eggs. As she went back for the toast, the back door swung open, and Kyle, Jules, Max and Amy barrelled through to the kitchen.
“Jax,” his brother clapped him on the shoulder, “I hear you had quite the eventful night, have you two made up yet?” He waggled his eyebrows in the direction of Cassidy, whose head was down, her eyes fixed firmly towards the tabletop. Great. He had done something wrong. Whatever it was, it must have been pretty intense, considering his brother was the only one bothering to talk to him.
“Cassidy,” he heard his mother’s sharp intake of breath, saw the way Cassidy flinched when he said her name. “You’re looking better today, a full plate, I see your appetite’s returned...” he trailed off as four sets of eyes turned to glare at him. “I thought after breakfast we could-”
“Jax,” his brother interrupted him, “shut up.” With that, Cassidy stood, her chair scraping against the tiles on the floor, and, without a word or a glance at anyone, left the room, her plate of food untouched.
“Will someone tell me what the heck I’m supposed to have done?” Jax roared, fed up with everyone giving him the stink eye.
“You don’t remember?” Kyle asked, incredulous. Jax shrugged and shook his head. “Right, come with me, I’ll fill you in on the way to pick up your car.”
“Okay,” Jax stood to follow his brother, “wait, where’s my car?”
“So, you really don’t remember anything that happened last night?” Kyle asked him once they were on their way.
“No,” Jax stated, wishing that he did.
“Okay, listen, I know you’re not married to Cassidy, or seem to have any kind of commitment to her, but mum and dad don’t know that, and you were a pretty big jerk to her last night. It was pretty late when you got home, after midnight, and you, ah, were pretty drunk.”
“Kyle, please, just tell me,” Jax was tired of not knowing.
“Tara brought you home.” Jax’s head shot around to look at his brother.
“Tara? Oh no, I remember, she was at the party,” Jax rubbed his hands over his face as images started to filter through. “Mum must have loved that.”
“Yeah, well, there’s more. The three of them found you, apparently, you were being rather loud. You were lying in mum's flowers, with Tara straddling you.”
“No!” The blood left Jax’s face, that couldn’t be true, could it? There was no way he would get close enough to Tara for that to happen.
“When Tony pulled Tara off you, you were pretty aroused, you, ah, you asked Cassidy to take care of it for you,” Kyle finished awkwardly.
“No, I didn’t?!” If Jax had felt uneasy before, he felt positively ill now. Tara had been straddling him? All his memories started to swirl around in his head, snippets of Tara, watching, whispering, driving him home, leaning on her to walk, falling into the flowers, the light, being caught, seeing Cassidy, an overwhelming kaleidoscope of memories and sounds.
“Look, Jax, I know you aren’t committed to her at all, but for Pete's sake, she is carrying your baby, at the least, the very least, she deserves better than that from you. Propositioning her, like a whore, in front of mum and dad, is not cool. From what Tony told me, Cassidy turned and walked away, mum was in tears, and Tony just left you on the couch to sleep.
“You’re right.” What else could Jax say? His brother was right, not about everything, but about propositioning Cassidy. Jax was horrified that he had done that, no wonder Cassidy wasn’t talking to him this morning, goodness only knows what she thought of him right now. He had to fix this, somehow, he had to make this right with her.
As Jax slid into his car and turned the engine over, he thought about last night. He knew what it must have looked like to his parents and to Cassidy, but he knew that wasn’t what was happening, the only trouble was, would they believe him if he told them the truth? He wasn’t so sure. Jax pulled in behind Kyle, the two of them walking inside together, finding everyone else back in the kitchen, tidying up.
“Mum, Tony, about last night...I’m sorry for acting like a fool, it wasn’t what it seemed, and I’d like to explain everything later, but first, I need to talk to Cassidy.”
“I have no interest in listening to anything you might have to say to me right now, Jax,” Cassidy spoke from the doorway, “I’m ready to go if you are?” She addressed his mother and Jules.
“Where are you going?” Jax asked, thinking that he might go as well, and find some way of making last night up to her.
“Girl's day out,” his mother answered. “Don’t worry, we’ll be home for dinner.” And with that, his mum, Jules, and Cassidy swept out of the room, leaving him with Kyle, Tony, and his niece and nephew.
Annoyed with himself, and frustrated, Jax headed into the triple garage, part of which had been turned into a music studio of sorts for him over the years. Picking up an acoustic guitar, he flopped on the worn-out couch and started to strum, meaningless notes at first, until a riff started to form, and Jax grabbed some paper and a pen and jotted down the notes before he forgot them.
“I don’t mind, I’ll use the time, mmm-hmm mmm mm-hmm,” he hummed, “cause I want to do things right, but I stuff up all the time,” he added the words to his scrawled music notations, “I want to change my ways-”
“Good, you should,” Kyle’s voice broke through Jax’s concentration, and he set his guitar to the side. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your songwriting.”
“No, it’s fine, I was just thinking things through.”
“Okay, well, come up to the house, Tony has lunch ready.”
“Really?” Tony wasn’t known for cooking.
“Yep, he went all out,” Kyle joked, “and ordered in pizza.” Laughing, Jax joined his brother, pushing all thoughts of Cassidy from his mind.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - CASSIDY
If Cassidy had thought that the sideways glances at dinner the night before last had been bad, the tense, guilty glances she was getting now as she, Judy, and Jules went around the larger shopping centre in Tamworth were utterly unbearable. Still, apart from the looks of pity, Cassidy was enjoying herself. She had never been on a girl’s day out, but from what she could gather, it was essentially a combination of shopping, gossip, and lattes. Cassidy found the most divine baby clothes while in a boutique looking for something for Max’s upcoming baptism, but as tempted as she was, she put them back down, not wanting to go against Jax’s wishes and reveal their secret to his family just yet. As they were on their way to lunch, Cassidy excused herself to go to the bathroom, as far as side effects went, this one was far preferable to the constant, unrelenting morning sickness, that was for sure. As Cassidy sat down on the toilet, she saw something that literally made her heart stop. She was bleeding. No. No, no, no, she could not lose this baby, not now. The moment Cassidy had seen the blood, she had known that she wanted this baby, that she loved this baby, and would fight for this baby. What kind of cruel, cruel world was this? Cassidy was frozen in place, she couldn’t breathe, tears clouded her vision, racing down her cheeks as sobs tore from her chest, shoulders shaking. She couldn’t think straight. She finished in the bathroom and went straight out to the food hall, easily locating Jules and Judy, who jumped up, alarmed, at Cassidy’s tears.
