Sloth, p.2
Sloth, page 2
part #4 of The Damning Series
“We need to talk about what Aaliyah said,” Devlin interjected softly. He brushed his knuckles against Z’s face, and she stirred, almost as if she was seeking out the genie’s warmth unconsciously. My heart battered my ribs, each beat getting deafeningly louder as I peeled my gaze away from hers and towards her tiny hand hanging off the bed. So pale. So still. So…lifeless.
Maybe that was what was fucking me up. Z always seemed to be larger than life, a presence capable of lighting up any room. It was physically painful to see her like this, as if someone had stuck a thousand knives in my chest and were dragging them downwards, across all of the sensitive organs present.
“I don’t trust that bitch further than I can throw her,” I muttered, unwilling to peel my gaze away from Z’s fingers. Did they twitch? My gaze narrowed as I willed them to move, to do anything but lie there limp and docile.
“She said she was Z’s sister,” Devlin pointed out, and I knew he was talking more to himself than to me. Out of my periphery, I watched as he absently scratched at his stubbled chin. “But Z doesn’t have a sister. I would know.”
Jealousy unfurled in my chest, the feeling reminiscent of a wilting rose with black, drooping petals and a thorny stem. There was nothing beautiful or serene about this particular flower.
I would never admit to anyone how jealous I was of Devlin’s relationship with Z. He knew her before any of us did. He loved her, and in return, he had her love. A selfish part of me wanted her to myself even now. What would that be like? To have Z’s undivided attention and love?
Immediately as I thought that, I swept it away, brushing it beneath the proverbial rug.
Z never picked between my brothers and me, and she didn’t have a favorite. To claim that her love and attention were divided was wrong and untrue. She loved fiercely and passionately, willing to go to the ends of the earth if you were one of those few people fortunate enough to be loved by her.
And maybe, with time, one of those people would be me.
“What the fuck are we going to do, Dev?” I queried, dropping my face into my hands. My stomach was a tangled nest of emotions and sensations. It felt like lumps of coal had taken up residence there, each one heavier than the last. “We have two days to find the cure and head to the capital with Jax. If we don’t…” I didn’t even bother articulating the ending of that thought. It was too horrible to consider.
“We’ll figure something out,” Devlin said resolutely. “We always do.”
“But—”
His head whipped in my direction, his violet eyes narrowing as his power flared around him. “No buts.”
“And you’re sure wishing on your lamp won’t help?” I pressed. Genies were the only nightmares who weren’t able to use their own powers without a conduit, so to speak. They needed someone to wish on their lamp in order to use their magic. But as Devlin had told us numerous times, he couldn’t cure Z. The poison coursing through her was magical in nature, no doubt a product of a powerful mage and not a natural ailment of the body. As such, his genie powers couldn’t cure her.
We’d tried.
We’d all fucking tried.
Not even my magic could save her life. It was almost as if my powers bounced off of her, ricocheting from her skin like she was made of titanium.
What the fuck did Zack give her?
“Aaliyah knows,” I whispered, swallowing around a lump in my throat. “She knows how to save Z. I don’t trust her, but we don’t have any other option. Maybe we should—”
“No.” Devlin shook his head dogmatically. “No, we’re not bringing Z to that bitch. It’s what she wants, and we still don’t know what for.”
“But if it’s that or losing Z…” I squeezed my eyelids shut, though that did little to dispel the horrific images that bombarded me. Losing Z was unimaginable. It couldn’t fucking happen.
As if reading my thoughts, Devlin said, “That won’t happen.” He placed a hand on my shoulder, for once looking anything but immaculate in his suit, his buttons undone and tie removed. There was even a stain on the collar of his shirt that hadn’t been there prior. “We’ll find a way to save Z and get back to the capital.” His face hardened with steely determination. “I refuse to accept any other alternative.”
Two
Ryland
Where would a crazy as fuck vampire hide?
Moving with the shadows, I stealthily ventured around the corner of the inn, glancing in both directions in search of Jax.
He’d left the room in a hurry, muttering beneath his breath about his blood no longer tingling. His words had instantly concerned me, though I refused to show how much to my already volatile brothers.
Vampire blood tingled when they came in contact with their mate. To hear that Jax’s no longer did that…
Something happened to my brother when he died and came back to life. I didn’t know what it was for sure, but I knew the only thing that could potentially save him was Z.
And with Z indisposed, that burden fell on me.
I swallowed, my throat burning with emotion, as I thought about the way I’d left my sweet assassin mate. My little dove. She looked so still sleeping in the uncomfortable bed of the inn. Angelic almost, with her golden hair cascading around her pillow like liquid amber.
When would she wake up?
I refused to believe that her condition was permanent. Absolutely refused.
“Jax!” I bellowed, not bothering to remain quiet as I moved towards the thicket of trees at the edge of the property. The forest looked as if it went on for miles and miles, nothing but skeletal branches as far as the eye could see. “Jaxon!”
“Fairy blood. The blood sparkles. Why doesn’t it sparkle? Why? Why? Why?”
I followed the voice farther into the trees, past a stump and towards the tallest oak in the forest. Crouching down, I met Jax’s blood-red eyes as he struggled to control his vampire form.
My brother was sitting beneath the tree, his legs pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them as he rocked. His light brown hair was pushed away from his face, and sweat beaded on his forehead.
“Jax,” I said gently, cautiously, as if attempting to corner a wounded animal. “Are you okay, man?” It was a stupid question, and I felt like a complete imbecile the second I asked it. Of course he was not okay. He’d died, for fuck’s sake, and had come back to life. Not only that, but Z, the love of his existence, was dying with no cure in sight.
Not dying, I reminded myself firmly. I needed to believe that, or else something inside of me would fracture.
I allowed the shadows surrounding me to disperse, revealing my scarred face to him.
“Jax…”
“My blood doesn’t tingle,” he said, his urgency evident in every taut line of his face and the way his body trembled. “It doesn’t tingle.”
“Okay. Okay.” Keeping my movements slow, giving him ample opportunity to pull away, I placed my hand on his shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. “Do you want to…talk about it?”
“It doesn’t tingle because she’s not there,” Jax continued, his hand snapping upwards to grip my wrist. I could feel my brows furrow in concern.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s not there.” He shook his head from side to side rapidly, his grip tightening on my wrist. “Not there. Not there. Not there.”
“What do you mean?” I demanded, knowing that I needed him to be coherent for one goddamn minute of his life in order for me to understand. I had a feeling that what he had to say was immensely important. Maybe the key to solving this entire fucked-up mess.
Trembling, Jax released my hand and brought a single finger to his own forehead.
And then, with his voice nothing but a hushed murmur, nearly lost in the ruffle of tree branches overhead and the occasional squeak of animals, he said, “She’s here.”
“In your head?” My heart raced, danced, tangoed, never slowing down, never stopping, always racing.
Did something happen when Z healed Jax? I supposed it could make sense. After all, she’d collapsed the second she finished. Maybe the poison hadn’t been what made her drop to the ground. Maybe it had been—
“And here.” He pointed at my own forehead, and my confusion only amplified. He then gesticulated wildly towards the inn, where I knew my other brothers to be. “And there.”
“Jax, I don’t understand—”
“We keep her here,” he continued earnestly, his eyes ensnaring my own and beseeching me to understand. Suffice to say, I had no idea what the fuck he was rambling about.
“I don’t—”
His eyes lit up suddenly, sparkling with an inner radiance, and for a brief moment, I didn’t see any of the lunacy I’d grown accustomed to. Clarity emanated from his gaze as the red gradually faded away. He cocked his head curiously to the side as he stared down at his arms. For a moment, he was silent, his face creased with confusion, as if he couldn’t understand where he was and how he’d gotten there.
I waited with bated breath for him to speak, not daring to say anything and send him spiraling back into another one of his fits.
“My blood…” His frown deepened. “It tingles again.”
“Jax, man, I have no idea what you mean by that.” My shadows coiled around me in agitation, brushing against my cheeks and arms and whispering to me like long-lost friends. I knew only my eyes were visible through the inky darkness, and it was them Jax focused on.
“Z,” he said softly, his words causing me to straighten in alarm. Panic momentarily stole the breath from my lungs before his next words soothed my frayed nerves. “I think she’s awake.”
Three
Z
Everything hurt.
My head throbbed painfully, as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to my skull, and my skin felt dry and itchy. Even my stomach tightened and twisted uncontrollably, and I just knew I was going to vomit. I felt disgusting, like the feeling you got when you traveled for a long period of time in a stuffy vehicle. Sweat plastered my hair to my forehead as I shifted on the uncomfortable bed, a moan leaving my parted lips.
I was distantly aware of muffled voices reaching me, as if from a distance.
“We’ll find a way to save Z and get back to the capital.” Devlin. I would recognize the husky tenor of my first love anywhere. He said something else, but his words were lost to the rapid thump-thump-thump of my heart.
I wearily blinked open my eyes, only to immediately shut them when I was assaulted by blinding artificial light. I didn’t recognize the room I was in, but if I had to guess, I would’ve said we were at an inn.
Another moan escaped me, and I felt someone grip my hand, squeezing tightly.
“You’ll be okay, baby. I promise,” Bash whispered, his voice meant for my ears alone.
Baby?
Despite the pain I was in, a part of me perked up at the term of endearment. I would’ve been the first to admit that my relationship with Bash, out of all my mates, was the most fragile. Tenuous at best. But he was here with me now, stroking my sweaty hair away from my face and whispering in my ear.
“Bash…” I murmured groggily, and he stilled, his hand tightening around mine.
“Baby?” His voice was a breath of air, and I instinctively turned my face in his direction. When I reopened my eyes, I met a pair of emerald green ones framed by thick lashes. His lips were a hairsbreadth away from my own as he leaned towards me.
“Bash,” I repeated.
Time seemed to still, my bright blue eyes locked on his green ones. I swore even our hearts were beating in tandem. I knew something significant was transpiring between us, but I didn’t know how to put it into words. It was one of those cheesy as fuck moments that you read about in romance novels, when the woman and man stared into each other’s eyes deeply, emotions running rampant between them like a taut wire sparking. His pupils dilated, his lips parted, and—
“Z!” Devlin’s voice broke through the moment like a bullet shot out of a gun. Bash pulled away abruptly, his customary scowl firmly back in place, as Devlin moved to join me at the bed.
For once, there was no arrogance marring his handsome features, only worry and a relief so strong and staggering, it took my breath away.
“Oh, thank fuck,” he breathed. He looked as if he wanted to grab me from the bed and pull me into his arms, but before he could do that, I began to cough. And cough, and cough, and cough. It felt as if I were losing my lungs, each one scratching at my throat until it was raw and bleeding. I twisted my face away, sitting up in bed, and abruptly vomited onto the distressed wooden floorboards of the room we were staying in.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I said as another cough shook my body. Tears burned my eyes as a wave of blistering, red-hot pain washed over me.
“Don’t you dare fucking apologize.” Bash’s voice was choked, heady with emotion. “You’re sick, Z. Very fucking sick.”
“Why didn’t you tell us about the poison?” Devlin demanded, his harsh words belying the gentleness of his hand on my back, stroking my blonde hair.
“Because…” I struggled to control the pain. The last thing I wanted to do was whimper and scare the shit out of my mates. I could tell they were already terrified, their bodies held stiff and tension emitting from their pores. “I didn’t want you to worry.”
“So you were just going to fucking die?” Devlin snapped, still stroking my back. “We could’ve helped you, Z. We could’ve—”
“You couldn’t have done shit!” I protested immediately. “Between the kings’ trials and Jax’s disappearance, not to mention the appearance of that psycho bitch and her monsters—”
“We could’ve done something,” Devlin said, interrupting my rant. He removed his hand from my back and moved to stand in front of me, kneeling down until I was forced to meet his penetrating violet stare. I’d always loved his eyes. The purple color was darker near the pupil before expanding outwards in streaks that were significantly lighter. When he used his powers, his eyes seemed to illuminate as if a candle were lit beneath the surface. It was ethereal and beautiful, just like the man himself.
He cupped both of my cheeks tenderly, his eyes tracking a single tear that cascaded down my cheek. I hadn’t even realized it had fallen, but there it was. That damn, traitorous tear.
Behind me, I felt a cold washcloth on my neck, brushing the sweat from my sticky skin, and Bash all but thrust a glass of ice-cold water into my hands. I took a few sips, my stomach instantly lurching and rebelling against the liquid, before handing the cup back to him and reclining in the bed. Bash fluffed a pillow up behind me, providing me something comfortable to lean against.
My mates. Taking care of me. Loving me.
My heart lodged in my throat.
“You don’t always have to be strong. Sometimes, it’s okay to fall apart. Sometimes, it’s okay to rely on your mates,” Devlin told me.
His words were very nearly my undoing.
Because I knew he was right, I honestly did, but it was hard to eradicate years of believing I had to do everything on my own. That my survival was determined by me and only me. I didn’t know how to phrase that to Devlin, how to make him understand, so I settled on whispering, “I know that.”
“Do you?”
Fortunately, I was saved from answering by the door to my room being pushed open, Ryland and Jax running inside. At least I assumed it was both of them. I only saw Jax, but a hulking shadow followed closely behind him, sticking to the walls.
“Z!” Jax’s eyes, wild with fear, met mine as he lunged forward. He would’ve probably collapsed on top of me if it hadn’t been for Ryland materializing between us.
“She’s sick!” he snapped, his tone taut with worry and tension. “You need to be gentle.”
Jax’s expression hardened, almost as if he was prepared to fight Ryland in order to get to me, but one glance over the shadow’s shoulder had his face crumpling.
I searched his eyes warily, half expecting to see his usual madness, but surprisingly, he appeared coherent.
“We were so fucking worried.” Jax took a step around Ryland, his eyes still fixed on me. Slowly, he lowered himself to his knees and placed his head on my lap. His voice was muffled from where his lips rested against my upper thigh, but I could still understand him clearly as he muttered, “The voices are quiet now.”
“Jax…” Trembling, I brushed my fingers through his light brown hair. Even that small touch took too much energy. But I couldn’t stop.
I’d seen Jax die. I’d held his broken, bleeding body in my arms as the life drained from his vibrant eyes. The fissure inside of my chest had transformed from a mere crack to a canyon, and I’d known that the only bridge capable of breaching the distance would be my mate’s survival. I’d refused to accept anything else as an alternative.
I remembered my power entering his body, filling him up and breathing life back into him. I had no idea how that was even possible, but it’d happened. And then, his eyes had opened, spearing me with a look so full of love and awe that I would’ve died a very happy assassin.
Yet somehow, I was still here. Tired, yes. Sick, yes. Hurting, yes.
But alive.
How was that possible? I was certain death would claim me, but I’d been willing to embraced the Grim Reaper if it meant my mates living.
Almost as if Ryland were privy to my thoughts, he whispered, “How is this possible?” A shadowy hand curled around my cheek as his ice-blue eyes ensnared my own. They were wide with terror as they penetrated my very soul. “How are you awake?”
“I told you,” Jax interjected before anyone could answer. He didn’t lift his head from my lap, but his voice was loud enough for the others to hear. “We’re keeping her here. For now.”
