Insanity, p.2
Insanity, page 2
She snorted at that. “I’m not sure anybody gets into this. As you can imagine, I didn’t have much choice.”
“It would help me to understand if you could explain a little bit.”
“Explain how I got into doing what I’m doing?” A bit of exasperation was evident in her voice. “An explanation will not help you at all. It won’t make what we are facing any less challenging, and it sure as hell won’t make it easier on me.”
He stared off in a corner for a moment, then finally turned back to her. “Stefan told me that you wouldn’t be easy.”
She burst out laughing. “Easy isn’t part of my domain.”
“Dr. Maddy explained how it was a defense mechanism, kind of like a fear reflex.”
She winced. “Yeah, see? That’s the problem when working with people who understand what you’re going through. There really is no privacy.”
“Maybe not, yet we’re here to accomplish one thing, and that’s to see if there is a whole, sane boy on the inside, hiding from the world.”
“Oh, he’s there all right,” she declared, “but apparently the family annihilator is right there with him.”
Gray flattened his back against the chair and just stared at her. When his phone buzzed, he pulled it out and answered it automatically. “Hey, Grant. Yeah, I’m here,” he answered calmly, but he knew his tone was off, and no way he would fool Grant, since they’d been close friends for well over a decade.
“Yeah, I know what you’re going through,” Grant said. “A bit of a shock, isn’t it?”
“I’d seen her before, so some of it isn’t a shock.” And then he frowned at her, almost smiling inside when she gave him a frown right back.
“She’s thinner than last time,” Gray noted, narrowing his gaze as he eyed her. “Looks like she’s had a hard time.”
She snorted at that, then got up and walked into the kitchen.
He grinned and kept on talking. “Yeah, she just left the room.” As soon as he thought she was out of earshot, he whispered into the phone, “What the hell?”
“I know. I know,” Grant replied in a soothing tone. “It’ll be bad. We get it. Or it could be bad anyway.”
“Oh, no doubt about it. You missed what she just told me.”
“What’s that?”
“She said the annihilator is still in the boy’s head—or something along that line,” he clarified, yet still confused. “So, don’t ask me any questions about it. That’s something that needs to go back to Dr. Maddy and Stefan. Not sure Dr. Cresswell’s totally sane.”
“I’ll talk to Dr. Maddy right away because that’s not my understanding. I thought this would be a routine checkup, and all we needed was to confirm that the boy was really where he needed to be or that somebody there could help him,” Grant stated, his voice sharp. “I’ll get back to you.” With that, Grant hung up.
As Gray sat here, trying to digest the little bit of information he had, … Cressy came back out into the living room, holding two cups of coffee. She held one out for him, which he gratefully accepted. “How did you know I like it black Dr. Cresswell?”
She snorted. “It wasn’t hard, since that seems to be the way any ‘real man’ takes it,” she declared, with an eye roll. “And call me Cressy. Everyone does.”
He nodded in acknowledgement. “I’ll admit that Grant and I both take it that way.”
“Yep, and so do Rohan and Nick and a couple other FBI agents I’ve met over the years. A simple thing to remember.”
He chuckled. “I appreciate it.” She didn’t respond and just sat back down again. “Look. Can I ask you what you mean when you said the annihilator is still there?”
“The boy saw something, and, when he saw something, he internalized it.”
“Okay.” When she didn’t say anything else, he became restless. “I get that you don’t want to share information, but it’s kind of awkward, as if I’m trying to pull teeth here. I wasn’t aware that the boy knew, saw, or had any information on the annihilator.”
“I don’t know that he has any info, nor did I say he had any,” she corrected. “That’s a different story.”
He blinked. “Sorry?”
She sighed. “Just because the boy has experienced what he has, the information is in his memory banks, but that doesn’t mean he knows it’s there. Nor does it mean he can pull out that information.”
“So he really can’t help us solve the case?”
She frowned at him. “You haven’t solved it?”
He frowned right back. “No.”
“Great,” she muttered under her breath. “I wasn’t aware of that either.” Just then her phone rang. “Yes, Stefan,” she answered, with something akin to disgust in her tone. “He’s here.”
Gray immediately leaned forward and spoke. “Stefan, I’m here.”
She put the phone down and announced, “Go ahead. You’re on Speakerphone.”
“I’m glad you two have met again,” Stefan began calmly.
“You could have told me it would be him,” Cressy noted.
“Would you have let him in the door?” Stefan asked.
She sighed. “I don’t know. I didn’t get a chance to decide that though, did I?”
He chuckled. “I think I know by now how you would have reacted.”
“So, in other words, I wasn’t given a chance to react, and, once again, you were manipulating the situation. That seems to be a recurring thing.”
Silence came on the other end, and even Gray was surprised, since very few people ever spoke to Stefan like that.
His tone was mild as he replied, “Get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?”
“Yeah, ever since Dr. Maddy put in the request,” Cressy muttered.
“It is a twelve-year-old boy, and I think he deserves a chance in life.”
“Sure he does, but you do realize that—”
Before she could say anything more, Gray leaned forward and interrupted, before it got out of hand. This was not getting them anywhere. “Stefan, she mentioned something about the annihilator being there.” When another round of silence came from the other end, Gray turned to see her frowning at him. “Unless she was just saying that to get rid of me.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have time to spend saying crap just to get rid of you. The door is right there. I could just kick you out.”
“I don’t kick out that easily,” Gray noted mildly.
“You just might in a case like this,” she pointed out, her tone turning heavy.
Stefan, his voice hard, intervened. “Zip it, both of you. Are you sure about the annihilator, Cressy?”
“Of course I’m sure,” she snapped. “I just don’t know how much. I don’t know whether it’s just his memories, the little bit that he saw, or what. I don’t know. But I also wasn’t aware that this case hadn’t been solved. You have to know that is a completely different story, as far as I’m concerned.”
She heard voices in the background and realized Stefan was talking to somebody. “Grant says they have a lead on somebody, and he is nowhere near the boy.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose.
Gray could tell that, whatever it was, it was upsetting her even more. “She doesn’t appear to like that answer,” he told Stefan. “Maybe it will help to know we did have a suspect charged and awaiting trial, but we’re concerned it’s the wrong suspect.”
Stefan, his voice clipped, added, “I can take another look.”
“Yeah, you need to,” Cressy replied. Then she whispered, “I’m not sure I’m up for this.”
Stefan’s voice softened. “Look. If there was anyone else I could call, I would have, but you’ve had six months to get back out there.”
“Great, thanks. Hey, anybody else could have done this in that time, no problem. You’ve had your holiday, now get your act together and get out there. That’s it, right?”
“No,” Stefan countered. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Maybe not, but I get it. You don’t think I recognize that I’m taking a cowardly way out by not doing this work anymore?”
“It’s not cowardly,” Stefan declared. “Very few people have ever endured the kind of a scenario you had and survived. The fact that you did survive already makes you very special.”
“Great. So, what do you want to bet that there isn’t some sort of billboard to the spirits on the other side, saying, Hey, look. She’s the best of the best. Why don’t you come give her another try? Anybody else? Any other takers? Let’s put bets on it too.” Her tone was irate by then. She got up and paced around the room, a small, lean fireball.
Watching her pace was giving Gray a headache. He leaned forward and whispered, “Stefan, is this dangerous for her?”
“Sure it’s dangerous,” Stefan replied, “and she knows that. We will do everything we can to minimize the danger. We underestimated just how dangerous her last case was. That blew up on us. We weren’t prepared.”
At that, she raced over to the coffee table, where her phone was, then leaned over it and stated, “We couldn’t have done anything about it anyway.”
“Do you think I don’t consider that all the time too? You’ve been doing this work for a very long time. We’ve been helping a lot of people, but unfortunately there always seems to be more people to help. I do feel responsible for what you went through.”
She groaned. “Look. You’re not responsible, Stefan. I know that. I never held you responsible for it.”
“You might not have, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t hold myself responsible,” Stefan stated calmly. “We were working the case together, and neither of us had any idea it would blow up in our faces. Everything aside, we survived.”
“Sure, we survived, but you went on to live a normal life, whereas I’ve been basically hiding in my apartment for six months.”
“Isn’t it time to come out then?” Gray asked her in a reasonable tone.
She turned and glared at him. “Sure, you handle the ghosties this time then, and we’ll see how quickly you come out of your sanctuary afterward.”
He pondered that. “I guess that’s what it’s all about though, isn’t it? You’re afraid.”
She stared at him and, in dulcet tones, said, “Wow, give the man a prize.”
He winced. “Look. I’m not trying to be thick over this, or difficult. I just mean that, if this is something you can’t do, then I may as well go because we’re just wasting time.”
She groaned. “It wouldn’t be so bad, but…”
“But what?” he asked, still bewildered.
“But what if it happens again?” she asked, glaring at him. “What if I’m walking right back into the same scenario I just got out of?”
He let out his breath slowly. “Is that even a possibility? I mean, surely the last time, when whatever happened, happened—and believe me. I haven’t spent too much time thinking about it because it gives me the heebie-jeebies,” he admitted, looking suspiciously around, “but is it really possible that something like that could ever happen a second time?”
“Yes,” Stefan confirmed through the phone. “It is possible. Is it likely? No, but it is possible.”
For the first time, Gray was starting to understand what was going on here. “So, are we seriously thinking this will be a repeat of that nightmare?” Her reluctance made some sense now. “I couldn’t even come to grips with what happened last time. You know perfectly well that I’m not a great believer in any of this stuff, and, as she pointed out when I just told her that, it makes absolutely no sense, not when I’ve seen the remarkable things that you and Dr. Maddy have done.”
“Which doesn’t make me feel any better,” Stefan admitted, “because she’s right. Either you’re a believer or you’re not.”
At that, Grant joined the conversation. “I don’t know about that, Stefan,” Grant added. “I can’t do any of the stuff that you do, but I have seen enough that I no longer disbelieve. If you or Dr. Maddy tell me that I need to do something, and it’s for the sake of saving lives, I do it and ask questions later. It took me a while to get there, but obviously Dr. Maddy has helped me on various FBI cases, and that has helped bring my belief system forward a little bit.”
“Ya think?” Stefan quipped.
“Where is the boy staying?” Cressy asked shakily, but Gray could tell from the dread in her voice that she already knew.
Stefan replied, “You know where he is. He’s being held at your local facility.”
“Of course. My facility, right?”
“Yes,” Stefan confirmed. “You still have an operating license, don’t you?”
“If you mean, privileges at that hospital, yes, I do. So, was that the other reason you called me?”
“Yes, because you have privileges there,” he admitted. “Though I could probably have gotten you in as a guest anyway. You’re on a sabbatical. Is that correct?”
“Yes, but it’s just about over. I’ve been getting questioned by my colleagues about whether or not I’m coming back. Up until now, the answer was an absolute yes,” she muttered. “Or at least to ease back into it gently.”
Gray watched her carefully, now that he understood more. He had been around some last time and had heard more about it afterward. Still he hadn’t fully known what was going on, and maybe that was a problem now as well. “Look. I only came over to talk with her.,” he admitted, staring at the phone. “Grant wanted me to come over.”
“He wanted you here, so I could assess your energy and could confirm that I could work with you,” she shared. “I just wasn’t aware that this would all be happening right now.”
“Yet you know that time is of the essence,” Gray noted.
“Sure,” she muttered. “Time is always of the essence.”
Stefan, his voice warm, added, “Cressy, I know that this is something you’ve been holding off on, and I agree wholeheartedly that you should be getting back to work and all, but I certainly understand if you’ve been trying to tell yourself that you’re not ready.”
She snorted at that. “Trying to tell myself I’m not ready?” She shook her head. “I know I’m ready to a certain extent. I also know that this is not something I really want anything to do with, but, as agreed, I will go to the hospital and meet him.”
“Good,” Stefan replied, a note of satisfaction in his voice.
“But I’m not guaranteeing anything,” she stated. “I might not even connect with the boy. As you probably know, I shut down everything for quite some time.”
“I know you did,” Stefan said. “That’s part of the reason for the sabbatical. You burned out and, when you burn out, it can take a while to come back again.”
“And that’s only if I’m prepared to come back,” she stated in a husky tone.
“Got it,” Stefan replied. “I do appreciate the fact that you’re willing to talk to the boy.”
“Right,” she muttered. “I was already booked to return to the office on Monday.”
“You could go a little earlier, just to see where things are at the place, right?” Gray asked her.
Cressy sighed. “Yes, I could.”
“What reason did you give for your absence?” Gray asked.
“I took a sabbatical for research.”
“That works,” Gray replied, “so nobody will question you too much.”
“Except for asking questions about the research I was doing,” she murmured. “I really don’t want to give too many explanations.”
“Don’t give any if you don’t have to,” Gray suggested. “Sounds as if maybe keeping things quiet is more important.”
“It’s not always that easy,” she noted. “Colleagues can be fairly persistent when they’re looking to see what kind of work you’re doing, since our jobs are only as safe as our results. The work is more of a life for us, and, if I’ve come back with new techniques, they’ll want to know about it.”
“Would you normally share?”
She gave him half a smile. “In my line of work I would normally share all kinds of things, but nobody—and I do mean nobody but the people on this phone call and Dr. Maddy—understand exactly what I do.”
At that, Stefan laughed. “I don’t even understand what you do. I understand the results, and I understand you’re a miracle worker, but that’s about it.”
“Fine, I’ll go in on Monday.” When Stefan went silent, she groaned. “You want me to go in now, don’t you? As in right now?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with the boy at present,” Stefan admitted apologetically, “but it seems something is changing, something is moving.”
“And you can’t sort it out?” she asked.
Stefan laughed. “No. Contrary to what everyone believes, I can’t do everything all the time.”
“Wow, that must have been an unfortunate surprise for you,” Cressy quipped.
Stefan snorted. “You do know that you’re the only person who ever talks to me like that?”
“The world would be better if more people did,” she declared.
“You’re just mad because I told Dr. Maddy to call you.”
“You could have called me yourself, you know?”
“I could have, but I figured that the first contact after all this time would be better coming from her.”
“You mean, the request would be better coming from her.” Then Cressy let out a big heavy sigh. “You also knew I couldn’t turn down anything to do with a twelve-year-old boy.”
“I would like to know more about how that works,” Gray said, from beside her.
She glanced at him and shrugged. “Part of the reason I got into this was, when my sister was eight, she had a psychotic episode and ended up in an institution herself. The only way I could stay in contact with her was … to do what I do.”
“But what is it that you do?” Gray stared at her in frustration. “I have no idea what you were doing, but honestly all I saw last time was you going berserk. So, I wasn’t at all sure what to think when I was asked to come help you now, and all I could think was, Why me?”
She studied him for a moment, then laughed and laughed. When she could finally speak again, she muttered, “Good God, you really have a death wish to show up now, if that’s what you thought was going on last time.”
