The setback, p.6
The Setback, page 6
Roscoe’s still out here with us, but he doesn’t panic when I leave anymore, thankfully.
“That was quick thinking with the ‘only room for two’ thing,” I say. “I can’t believe my mom was trying to oust you.”
Abigail shrugs. “If you’d rather take her, I don’t mind. Or we can just tell her we called and the places that had limited space said she can come. I just thought I’d give you a graceful out if you wanted one.”
I head for the car. “Oh, I did want one. I was impressed.”
“I’ve had years and years of practice with my family.” Abigail sighs. “Believe me. They’re even more dogged than your mother when they want something.”
Dad and Xavier wave as we head for the car. “Drive safe,” Dad says, as if he’s ever spent a moment worried about my safety.
I just half-heartedly wave and then hop into the car.
“It looks like they’re making an effort,” Abigail says.
“I mean, they’ve been here for a really long time,” I say. “This is the first time they’ve really been this determined.”
Abigail arches one eyebrow.
Color rises in my cheeks. “Look, I know what you’re thinking, and I’m not sure you really understand—”
“I’m not sure you do know what I’m thinking.” Abigail leans against the window, like she enjoys the feeling of the cool pane of glass against her face. I mean, she is pregnant. She’s probably hot a lot more often right now.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll tell me.”
That makes her laugh. “Yes, one thing I’m terribly bad at is keeping quiet.”
“Spit it out, then.”
“I think it’s brave of you to welcome them back.” I wait for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t. This may be the shortest piece of advice she’s ever given.
Actually, it’s not even advice. It was just a compliment. “That’s it?”
She shrugs.
“Isn’t this where you tell me that I’m not really letting them in? You could say that I should give them a chance to be the family they haven’t been in the past? Or you could remind me that people change?”
“Eddy must be saying that stuff already.” Abigail laughs. “In my experience, people almost never change.”
I didn’t expect her to say that. I mean, it’s probably true, but it’s a pretty depressing thought. It sounds more like something I’d say than something she would. “Then why do you put up with Helen?”
That makes her laugh again.
“I’m kind of not kidding. She’s horrible.”
“I’ve never been in business with her,” Abby says.
“I think the world might collapse under the weight of both of you working together.”
“Actually, it almost happened.”
“What? When?”
“A long time ago.” Abby turns to look out the window again and sighs.
“You planning to share?”
She shrugs. “I mean, there’s not a lot to say. She had already started her company. She told me that she was having trouble finding legal counsel for it, or at least, counsel she could trust. She’d had a lawyer try to cheat her or something. I told her when I graduated, I would come work for her. Nate and Robert were clerking for a big firm, but I went and worked for her over the summer. It was actually pretty cool. We got along better than I expected.”
“And then?”
“Ethan,” she says. “I got pregnant, and Nate and I got married, and that was the end of the Fisher sisters taking over the world.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not sure whether it really would have been great once I was a lawyer, telling her no on things and giving my professional opinion. I was more like a glorified file girl that summer.”
“Did she resent Ethan? Or Nate?”
“I’m not sure,” she says. “I didn’t ask her what she thought. She was—she’s always been this fireproof superhuman, and I didn’t even really think about what she thought about it. My whole world had shifted in a moment, and Nate and Ethan became the center of it.” She shifts her hands until they frame up her belly. “Isn’t it funny how everything changes when you become a mother?”
I think about that.
Nothing changed for my mom, I don’t think. She certainly didn’t act like a mother ought to act. I’m terribly afraid that like her, I didn’t change much either. I told myself that I was doing what was best for my girls, ensuring their independence, but was I really exercising the same brand of selfishness as my own mother?
“You’re quiet,” Abby says. “Are you and Eddy thinking about having kids?”
My laugh is so loud that it startles Abby.
“I’ll take that as a no.”
“It’s a heck no,” I say. “I’m done growing small people.”
She’s smiling. “Fair enough.”
“I still don’t understand how you can be a mother, a wife, a businesswoman, and still have the patience to deal with Helen now that she’s back.”
“I used to think she was superhuman, but now, as a seasoned mother, as a younger sister with a little more perspective, I’ve come to realize that Helen is profoundly lost.”
Lost.
I think about that word. She’s not in a place where no one can find her. We know exactly where she is. Which means Abby’s saying that either Helen doesn’t know where she is or that she doesn’t know what she wants. “Do you really think you can do anything to help her?” In my experience, people like Helen won’t let anyone do anything for them. Not that I’ve really ever known anyone like Helen.
Even Paul was more human than Helen.
Abigail’s words this time are slow, as if she’s still forming them in the nanoseconds before they spill over. “I hadn’t thought, until this moment, how similar the two situations were.”
“What situations?”
“Well, twenty years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with Ethan, I told my sister I couldn’t work with her. I told her I was getting married.”
“Okay.”
“And now, she’s back. She came to stop me from marrying Steve.” She freezes, and blinks. “I wonder if she did that because she thought she might have a chance at. . .” She shakes her head. “She just thought it was stupid of me to marry Steve. But now that she knows him, she’s seen that he’s as good as Nate in his own way.”
“What else were you thinking?”
“It’s stupid.”
“Nothing you think is ever really stupid.”
She chuckles. “I mean, I was just thinking that maybe Helen showed up because she was jealous or something. Like, we had this chance to be partners, and Nate ruined it, and now that he’s gone, maybe we could be close again, and then some new guy shows up before she has a chance to talk about it.”
It may be the most brilliant thing she’s ever said. “People think about jealousy as being another man for a woman, or another woman for a man, but I think jealousy drives more of our actions than we realize,” I say. “You might be right.”
Abigail shrugs. “Well, here I am, married and pregnant again, this time in the right order, and once again, Helen’s here, acting like a hurt puppy.”
“This time, though, instead of just giving up, Helen stuck around.”
“I don’t think it’s really because of that. She hasn’t mentioned a word about us working together,” Abby says. “I’m sure the last thing Helen needs is a B-list lawyer looking over her big, complicated acquisitions, her corporate restructuring, and her hostile takeovers.”
“I can’t figure out why she’s bothering with a tiny little retreat out in the middle of nowhere either.”
“To be honest, I thought she might have a secret crush on David Park.” Abby smiles. “I mean, you didn’t want him, but he might be perfect for her, don’t you think?”
“Helen and David?” Now I can barely talk for laughing. “That would be like a lioness dating a friendly goat.”
“Oh, come on. David’s hardly a goat. His family’s wealthy, he’s well educated, and he runs their entire American book of business.”
“There’s no way that the same person would like your sister and me,” I say. “We’re like oil and water.”
“Are you, though?” Abby holds up a finger. “You’re a beautiful woman.” She adds another. “You’re a successful businesswoman.” She raises one more. “You’re opinionated.”
“Okay, but that’s where it ends.”
“I guess.” Abby’s brow is furrowed.
“Can you even imagine poor David, involved with someone like Helen?”
Abby frowns. “My sister’s very honest about who she is and what she wants. She hasn’t placed value on the same things as us, but she’s not evil.”
“Do you really think she might change enough to be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone, though?”
“I think that selfish people are usually selfish. I expect it of them. Takers take. It’s what they do. What worries me more than takers who take is takers who suddenly start acting caring and kind.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’re obsessing about Helen, when she’s only helped you so far. I know she’s probably hard to work with, but it’s not like she’s a bad asset to have in a company.”
“And?”
“Your parents, however, have never brought you anything but grief. While I’m impressed with your willingness to welcome them back, their ongoing presence has been far more concerning to me. When selfish people start doing something uncharacteristically thoughtful, start looking for the real reason.”
Unexpected anger floods me. With a sister like Helen, Abigail’s going to criticize my family? But instead of yelling at her like I would have a year ago, I try to step back.
Was she trying to hurt my feelings?
She openly and honestly acknowledged Helen’s strengths and weaknesses. She told me a lot about their past. She told me she’s trying to help her sister who’s lost.
She told me she was impressed by my bravery. . .and she’s worried about me being hurt by the very people who have hurt me more profoundly than probably anyone else.
She’s my sister.
She’s my best friend.
Maybe instead of being all angry and defending people whom I also distrust, I should try listening to her.
I think about what she said again. She doesn’t trust them, and it made me mad that she’s acting like I might not realize they’re users. “I did look into things,” I say. “That’s why I asked for your friend’s number. They don’t have any criminal charges pending, and while they’re about to lose their trailer, trust me. It wasn’t ever worth much. They’re probably better off losing it and starting over.”
“Sometimes we’re just missing one little piece of information, and then we can make sense of the puzzle.”
“I guess,” I say.
“But, I will also admit that while change is not common, it is possible.”
“Am I an idiot for hoping that maybe they aren’t trying to play me?” I hate how pathetic I sound.
Abby’s hand drops on top of mine. “Not at all.”
“Really?”
She squeezes my hand. “You’ve lost a husband, you’ve fended for yourself, you’ve met someone new and then had the faith to trust them. You’ve made friends and bonded with new family, and you’re growing into a better mother and friend every single day. I’m proud of you, Amanda. Wanting to see the best in your family is just an extension of the rest of your changes.”
The rest of the day goes really well. We find half a dozen dresses that might work, all of them from excellent designers. I may not have found the perfect dress, but it’s better to find a few that work than just one that you’re set on when you’re relying on them comping it for publicity.
When we get back home, my dad’s still there. He and my brothers are finally closing up the shed.
“Wow, you’re still here?” I glance at the setting sun. “You’ve been working for like ten hours.”
My dad pulls the beanie off his head, his greying hair flying up at strange angles. “I know, sugar bean, but the thing is, we got some news today.”
I cringe at his stupid nickname. “What news?” My heart sinks. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for, the moment when I find out why they really came. They’ve done one moderately nice thing, so they think the time is right to ask for whatever it is they really want. I swallow and nod. “Just go ahead and ask already.”
“My friend Ed found us a job.” His shoulders droop. “And the car’s fixed. I know work’s going great for you, but it’s been rough for us lately. I wish we could tell them to hold it for us until the new year, but they’d find new people in a snap.”
My dad and my brothers have been working as an electrical crew, apparently. I pity the people whose houses they wire, but I guess it’s honest work. Mostly.
“Okay.” But, what’s he asking for exactly? Does he want me to front him enough money so that they can stick around? That’s not so bad. I could talk to Eddy. I might even do it. I mean, they’re annoying, but they are my family.
Mom’s head pokes out the door. “You’re back.” She beams.
“I hear that you’re leaving.” I hate the waiting. “So how much money do you need to—”
“Your dad and brothers have to go back and work,” Mom says. “But if you don’t mind, I’d like to stick around and help with the wedding.” She’s beaming at me, like this is some lifelong dream come true.
When I turn toward Dad, he’s looking all encouraging. And other than paying for their hotel, food, and car repairs, they aren’t asking for anything else. Even when I wait an awkward amount of time, they never ask me to pay them to stay.
“Do you need gas money?” I finally ask. “Or a loan to help you keep the house?”
Dad shakes his head. “No, Ed said they’d send me an advance on our first paycheck, so that’ll hold us over.”
I can’t believe what he’s saying.
“We can come back for the wedding,” Roy says. “Dad made ‘em promise.” He’s not even really my brother. He’s a stepbrother. I didn’t think it really mattered to him whether I got married, much less whether he was present for it.
I blink.
“You’ll forgive us, right?” Peter asks.
“Of course,” I say.
“And you’ll look after yer ma until we get back?” Dad asks.
“Maybe people can change,” Abby whispers.
I hate how desperately I hope that she’s right.
6
Donna
When I was in college, I stayed in the residence hall in a room I shared with an assigned roommate. The one assigned to me my freshman year was obsessed with gaming and spent thousands of dollars on a game console, multiple laptop screens, and extensive special gear. Other than classes, which she often managed to get notes for online, she almost never left the shared space.
She barely even left to eat.
She ordered Chinese food and pizza regularly, and sometimes she’d even pay someone to bring her burgers. This was way before Uber Eats and whatnot sprang up. Her refusal to ever leave the room meant that I never really had a moment to myself in my own home. I didn’t care too much—at least, not until I got a boyfriend.
Once Charlie and I started dating, it became much more irritating. He had a roommate too, and that guy was a shut-in, practically. He was a biomechanics major, and he was obsessed with getting into medical school at Harvard. Since I was a respectful human being, I never brought my boyfriend back to my room, and he never took me to his. It just didn’t seem polite. That meant that we made out in cars, in movie theaters, in the park behind a tree, and anywhere else we could.
It was a bit of a double standard, respecting my roommates but not anyone out in public. I was young enough that didn’t even occur to me.
In all the time we dated, we never, ever spent any time on a bed. It’s not that I was a saint or anything. We just didn’t have access to one. Of course, I assumed that as an adult, it would be different. I have a credit card. I pay taxes. I have a car that’s no work of art, but it’s paid off. I can do whatever I want, and whenever I see Will, what I want involves him and me and somewhere that no one else is watching.
Only, I also have a son.
And a niece who lives with me.
Will has a great place, of course, but in a recent ice storm, a tremendous amount of snow managed to cave in the roof, and now he’s temporarily living with his wonderful parents. It’s awesome he has that option, but it means that I’m channeling my inner college student yet again.
Will has a lean build that makes me swallow every time I see him. He has amazing eyes I could fall into. His biceps, when he picks up a gallon of milk, or when he opens a window, or when he does most anything at all, leave me almost breathless. His low chuckle when I make a joke, his possessive gaze on me when he thinks I look nice, they’re all things that make me want to shove him up against a wall and kiss him.
And he just asked me to marry him.
Then he went home after a quick peck on the cheek like a good high school kid should. I can tell he’s as irritated as I am when, almost the moment I reach work, he turns up.
“Hey.” He grins. “Aiden’s at school?”
I nod. “I already went by the ranch for Mr. Park, too. He said I have maybe three or four more days of odds and ends, and then I’ll be done working for him.”
“That’s exciting,” Will says. “Right? Are you still feeling good about working here?”
“Yep.”
“That wasn’t very enthusiastic.” His brow furrows.
“I like the work so far. It’s rewarding, and most of the people are really nice. But I’m worried about working with your mom.”
“Worried?”
“She never corrects me. I have to drag the truth out of her if I’ve messed something up. I want to do things the right way, and I need her to tell me when I don’t.”
Will’s lips compress, which is what he does whenever he’s thinking about something. “Let me think about that one. Mom won’t want to ever tell you that you’re doing the wrong thing, because she likes you so much.”
