Inside these halls, p.1
Inside These Halls, page 1
Inside These Halls
ADRIAN J. SMITH
EREKA PRESS
Copyright © 2023 by Adrian J. Smith
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover Art by Cath Grace Designs
Chapter One
Esther squeezed the life out of the stress ball. It officially died by her hand as she sat in the front seat of her car, outside Irving Elementary School with her brand new kindergarten student in the back seat. Still, she squeezed it again, as if hoping life would spring back into the smooth foam-like material and eliminate all the stressors being thrown at her.
She didn’t witness a miracle that morning.
“We going inside?” Anthony bubbled from the backseat, excitement coursing through him.
Esther pressed her lips together hard, her molars grinding. Other students were already out on the playground, running around. Supervisors would be out there shortly as the time for morning duty hit.
Esther had to work hard to form tangible words. “In a minute.” She sounded way calmer than she felt, the raw emotions of the first day of school, a new school, her son going to school, hitting her full in the face with the brunt of their anxiety. Her mind spun with every possible thing that would go wrong that day, and she couldn’t calm it. She croaked out, “Are you ready, baby?”
Anthony climbed into the front passenger seat of the car, his backpack narrowly missing Esther’s face as he maneuvered inside the vehicle. “Yes!”
“Good.” Esther smiled at her beautiful baby boy. He was growing so quickly, and she simultaneously wanted to slow time down and speed it up. She had to make herself go inside. She had to make herself take Anthony by the hand and bring him into the school and leave him for the entire day. And she had to do it soon because she needed to get inside. With a breath, Esther spoke even though she wasn’t ready. If left to herself, she never would be. “I’m going to head inside, but you can play on the playground until your teacher lines you up when the bell rings.”
“Okay!” Anthony flopped onto his butt on the seat and grinned over at his mom.
With him wanting to get out and get to playing, Esther really had no other option. This was the chance she had been looking for all last year, and she finally had it in her hands. She didn’t want to mess it up, not like the other schools where she’d taught. She had to make this one work, because if she didn’t, she would quickly be blacklisted and marked as “unhirable” in the entire district. Then she’d be out of a job and Skip would be right. He’d take Anthony and she’d never see him again and she would be devastated, her life over.
“Mama, we going?”
Esther pulled away from the rampaging anxiety, as much as she could anyway. She had to focus on the good, but no matter how much she tried, she never managed to do that for long. Esther worried her lip, the already raw skin telling her that was not a good idea as a sting sliced through her. Anthony got up on his knees and looked out the window.
“Let’s go,” Esther murmured, hoping Anthony’s enthusiasm and lack of fear would rub off on her. She opened her door after tossing the dead stress ball to the floor. Anthony climbed over the seats to follow her. As soon as he stepped onto the sidewalk, she bent down and brushed a kiss into his hair.
Act calm and no one will know. She repeated the motto to herself as she straightened her back and grabbed her bag from the backseat of the car. She slung it over her shoulder and snagged hold of Anthony’s hand as they crossed the street toward the school. Esther walked to the playground first, sending Anthony on his way. Her stomach twisted into knots as he barely said goodbye. He threw his backpack onto the ground, and Esther hoped that he would remember which one was his when he had to go back and find it later. He was off to the playground, climbing the stairs to the fort and making new friends without even looking back at her.
Esther stayed there minutes longer than she meant to, and had to once again talk herself into dragging her feet back into the school building. Anthony was set, at least for now, and she could watch him from the window in her classroom while she finished her preparations for the first day.
This was a small school compared to the last place she had taught, and it had been one of the perks when she’d seen the opening. She needed the tightly knit community to keep herself on track. Too much drama and she would get lost in it. That was what happened at her last two schools, and she had barely survived enough to move to the next one.
Setting her bag on her desk in the back corner of the room, Esther let out a breath and closed her eyes, soaking in the calm and the quiet before all hell broke loose. I can do this. Another mantra that had become hers in the last few weeks while she’d been setting up her classroom. The nerves in her stomach were over the top, and she feared she would puke if she didn’t take care of it quickly enough. She didn’t need that on her first day.
She’d been teaching for six years, and she knew what she was doing–most days. Even if this was a new school and she was generally a nervous person, she should have herself pulled together by now and it irked her that she still couldn’t manage that.
The triple rap against her closed door startled her. Esther’s eyes snapped open, and she steadied herself on her feet, prepared for some nervous parent to come in and ask to meet her because they’d missed the open house or something. She rolled her shoulders as the door snicked open. The woman who popped her head in definitely worked at the school—the bright purple lanyard around her neck with the school identification card was enough to shed light on that.
Her hair was cropped short against her head, longer on the top to be slightly styled but still easy to manage, gray hairs proudly showing through the brown. The woman smiled as she stepped into the room, leaving the door wide open to whoever wanted to enter, something Esther hated. This woman was tall, her hips generous, and her legs long as she strode across the room to get to Esther. Her dark eyes locked on Esther’s, and a genuine smile worked its way onto her lips and into those deep brown eyes Esther very nearly fell into.
“Hi, I didn’t get a chance to meet you earlier this week.” She held her hand out for Esther to take, like she owned the room and the building. “I’m Melanie Przybyla. I teach kindergarten.”
“Oh.” Esther took Melanie’s hand, their fingers sliding together. Her skin was so warm, her handshake firm, but little tingles of electricity floated through Esther, gathering just below her nerves in her belly. She swallowed hard. She hadn’t thought she’d meet her son’s teacher this way, but since she had missed kindergarten round up just before school started because it wasn’t her week, it was good to get an idea of who Anthony’s teacher was.
“I’ve been teaching at Irving for twenty years now. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that if you need anything, come find me. I’ve been here long enough to know where all the hidden closets are.”
Esther swallowed hard, a lump forming instantly in her throat. Her stomach twisted sharply at the mention of being in the closet, and her heart raced so much it was in her throat, making it almost impossible for air to flow. This was not what she needed on top of her already anxious brain. What she needed was calm and serenity before the first day officially started and she was off to the races.
“How long have you been teaching?” Melanie continued, like Esther hadn’t missed the opportunity to continue the conversation.
She had, of course, because she didn’t want to talk. She wanted to cower and hide so she could make it through the school year. Forcing words to leave her lips was hard, but at least she wasn’t going to be outed on her first day. If there was one thing she could control, it would be that. “Uh… six years. I was at Dickenson before this, Jackson before that.”
“You’ve moved around a lot.”
Esther shrugged. She’d had to move when she took time off to have Anthony and had attempted to make something work with Skip. She’d tried the stay-at-home thing, but that had failed, miserably. One semester away from teaching was enough to tell her she’d never stop again unless she absolutely had to. Bile worked its way into her throat again, and Esther had to take slow deep breaths through her nose to push it back down. She fingered the peppermint oil in her pocket, wishing Melanie would leave so she could sniff it to calm her stomach. Her shoulders were so tense that she knew she’d be aching by the end of the day and would need a nice long relaxing bath to attempt to sleep that night.
Melanie’s face pinched. “Well, like I said, if you need something, let me know.”
“Right. I will. Thanks.” Esther rushed the words out, relieved that she was about to be left alone for a few minutes before the bell rang. She clenched her hand into a fist, wishing she had her stress ball, even if it was dead as a doorknob.
Melanie gave a small wave before she left the room with confidence. She left the door open on her way out, and Esther cringed. She didn’t have the energy to shut it—not just yet anyway. Collapsing into the chair behind her desk, Esther closed her eyes and took another steadying breath. I have to get myself under control. She had to make it through this one day and then the next day, all the way through the year. And she had to make a good impression while doing it because she couldn’t afford another black mark on her record.
Esther’s intuitive sense of timing clicked into play, and sh e glanced at the clock. Sure enough, there were two minutes left until the bell rang. Standing completely still, she practiced her breathing and relaxed what she could of her body. First days sucked for just about everyone, teachers included. Hers would be no different, but today would be one step closer to tomorrow. She just had to keep reminding herself of that. When she took a step toward the door, she stopped.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She glanced at the time before grabbing her cell. The text from her sister made her smile, a moment of relief in the sea of anxious chaos going through her brain. She didn’t know what she’d do without Carissa. She’d been her rock for years. Not responding, Esther put her phone back into the pocket of her slacks and left her classroom. It was time to line up her kids, and for the first bell of the school year to ring.
The bell vibrated through Melanie’s chest, excitement rising again. She loved the first day of school, always had, even when she’d been a kid. Shaking out her arms all the way down to her hands and fingers, she stared at the door to her classroom. This was her sanctuary. For the last twelve years she had taught kindergarten, and she wasn’t sure she could ever give it up if she had a choice.
Melanie grabbed the clear purple clipboard with her class list on it so she could find all her students. As she stepped out of her sanctuary and into the hallway, she couldn’t stop the smile from lighting up her face. Teachers moved as they walked toward the playground, anticipating the second bell. Students would congregate, waiting for teachers to arrive and show them where to line up. There was so much beauty in the chaos, and that was something Melanie would never give up.
Stepping onto the playground, Melanie found kids roving around as if they had no distinct destination. The older kids moved to one side of the playground while the younger ones moved to the other. Melanie held up her clipboard with the giant “K” drawn on it.
She caught sight of Esther, lining up on the opposite side of the playground, her own clipboard with a “5” on it held up, although she was so petite that she was the same size as some of those kids. Meeting with her that morning had been interesting. Esther hadn’t wanted a conversation, that much was clear, but Melanie could have supposed that could be first day jitters. Teachers weren’t exempt from those.
Focusing on her students, Melanie walked up and down the throng of kindergartners, getting the kids organized into one big line. The other kindergarten teacher did the same, finding stragglers. They exchanged a quick glance, having been through this routine several times together already. They would untangle which kid belonged in which classroom in a minute. First the goal was to get them rounded up.
Melanie pressed her lips firmly together as she glanced back at Esther, unable to tear her gaze away. Something about her seemed so off-putting. Melanie hadn’t met another teacher like that, and as much as she tried to play it off as first day jitters, it was more than that. Most teachers were warm, welcoming, comfortable in their environment, but Esther had been stiff and tense. She wished she could have said the right words to calm her. Instead, she watched as Esther bent down to talk to a kindergartner, one who was clearly lost as to where he should be.
“We’ve got one lost, I’ll be right back,” Melanie murmured to Johanna as she walked toward Esther.
They made eye contact, and Esther pointed in Melanie’s direction. The small boy turned around, his eyes wide and a broad grin flashed across his features. He darted toward her. Melanie raised her hand up to Esther, a message of thanks, and waited for the kid to arrive near her. She walked with him to the lines they had formed.
Melanie clapped her hands as the other classes filed into the school. She got everyone’s attention and smiled at them. “Hey everyone! Are you ready for your first day of school?”
Some of the kids cheered, while others stood quietly, confused as to what was happening.
“Ms. Black and I are going to read off names, and I want you all to line up in front of us when we call your name, all right?” Melanie took a few steps to the side so a new line could form just as Johanna did the same in the opposite direction.
They took turns, calling name after name as the kids lined up. Finally, Melanie got to a new name, one for a kid she hadn’t met since he’d missed roundup the week before. “Anthony Johnson.”
The small boy who had been pointed in her direction by Esther stepped up and fell into his new line. He was adorable, light freckles littering his cheeks, amber colored eyes, and short brown hair that was gelled to the side and away from his face. He even was missing a tooth from that bright smile. The backpack looked about ten times too big for him, but he had his hands wrapped around the straps. Melanie gave him a smile, hoping it would comfort any nerves he might have.
As they finished roll call, Melanie clapped her hands again to get their attention. “We’re going to go to the classroom now. I want you to find your name tag on your desk and sit down, then we’ll figure out where our cubbies are.”
Johanna took her class inside first, and Melanie waited until it was their turn to walk. She turned at the last minute.
“Remember to stay in line, please! I don’t need to be losing any of you inside, now do I?”
As soon as they were settled inside, Melanie worked around the kids as the noise echoed in her classroom. The first day of school was always an adventure of starting to learn personalities, memorizing names and faces, and getting the kids set up so they knew where everything was. Anthony sat front and center, attention turned to her almost every second she spoke. She hadn’t found a moment when she had said something that he hadn’t been eyeing her, watching and observing. Yet, equally, he laughed and chatted with the other three kids at his small table.
They made it through the day, and when the paraeducator came to snag the kids who were destined for buses and day cares, she was not surprised to see Anthony jump up, ready to go when his name was called. He brought a smile to Melanie’s face, warming her. If all kids could be like him, her class would thrive in ways she could only dream of. However, the diversity of personalities and abilities was what taught her kids more than she could, so she appreciated each child for who they were.
Leading the rest of her class down to the kindergarten door, she reminded them to meet her there in the morning and that she would bring them to the classroom. They nodded eagerly before she opened the door, finding parents, grandparents, sitters alike waiting for the kids to be released. As soon as her last student was picked up, Melanie walked back to her classroom, releasing the pent-up energy she’d kept tightly in her shoulders all day.
She would sleep well that night, ready to meet her students head on the next day. She was just about to turn into her classroom when she stopped short, seeing Esther coming toward her with a brisk step. Melanie crossed her arms loosely and waited. This woman was unlike any other teacher Melanie had met, at least in elementary school.
“How did it go?” Melanie asked.
“What?” Esther’s tone was sharp, surprised almost as she stopped short in her tracks.
Narrowing her gaze, Melanie looked her over. The tan slacks formed to her body, her blonde hair pulled into a tight ponytail, the hair still smooth over her head. Her eyes were a cold blue, almost unseeing in some ways. Melanie cocked her head to the side. “How did your first day go?”
“Oh.” Esther bristled, her shoulders tightening. “Well enough, I suppose.”
“I’m glad it wasn’t torture.” Melanie quirked her lips, hoping the comment would come off as a joke, but Esther really looked as though she’d been tortured all day.
“Torture?” Esther raised an eyebrow. “Hardly. I’m sorry, I have a meeting.” She pointed to the office before walking away without saying another word.
Melanie sighed, eyeing Esther as she continued down the hall, a slight sway to her hips. “Well, she’s an interesting addition to our staff,” Melanie murmured to herself before sliding into her classroom to finish out her day.
Chapter Two
The knock on her door was semi-surprising, but seeing one of her best friends in the entire world brought a smile to her lips. Chris’ curly frizz of dark brown hair was almost a halo around her shoulders as her square form leaned against the open door.
